Sunday, August 12, 2012
Indeed my prayers were heard by God. He really allowed for circumstances that broke my heart, in and out.
I am going to overcome all these with God's strength.
Now I know what Jesus felt, not entirely but at least a tiny bit. His was more agonizing and heart-wrenching that is for sure. When He took up the cross, He knew He was dying for people who didn't understand, for people who were hard to love, people who judged him before they knew the truth.
No one knows what is happening between me and Santa now, except for her and me. I won't tell others of the stuff she told me, that she has some feelings for me and that she allowed me time to be assured of my interest in her. All the time we spent together, her hands I held, my face she touched. Why do I have to tell anyone about this, Jesus, aren't you the only mediator between us and God?
Accountability you might say, who are you to be deserving of my accountability? Even before you heard from me, you tried on your own means to sought answers. Trust? When you guys went ahead of waiting for me to reveal to you guys what is happening, trust was already tested. The things that came out from your mouths dispel any love or grace you say you have for me as a brother.
Even my housemate, really? And you told me you really respected privacy and the disclosed and private sharing of information. So I confided in you and threaded on my lines of trust with people. Next thing I know, whatever is told to you, another person has knowledge of.
Love? Trust?
Broken.
7:02 PM